Throughout most of civilisation, humans have been driven by a deep need to find 'their other half'. Some people feel incomplete, and know they can only be made whole when they find this special someone. It's not easy finding your soul mate, that one person who complements every aspect of you and your life, but when you do find such a person, you should do whatever it takes to hang on tightly to this love.

Many people are unsure how to tell if the person in their life is really their soul mate. Although you might feel a deep love and a strong bond with the person you are currently with, this does not mean they are your soul mate, or the person who you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

There are countless ways to be certain your current partner is your true soul mate. It takes time and careful observation for you to know for sure. However, soul mates tend to mate for life, so if you find yours, you should consider yourself extremely blessed.

That special someone will possess certain qualities that will endear them to your heart and soul forever. Here are some of those finer qualities that will guarantee you a long-term future filled with true happiness.


Finding cleverness in your soul mate is always a good thing. Both of you benefit by challenging each other in a healthy way, and stimulating one another, while concurrently nurturing the relationship together. A partner who mentally keeps you on your toes, is a partner worth keeping.

Beauty in your eyes

We are constantly bombarded by what the media defines as ideal beauty. However, humans are vastly different in looks, thoughts, personalities and preferences, and so we each have an individual concept of an aesthetic image. What is most important in any relationship is that you each find the other attractive, physically and emotionally. If your heart jumps when you consider all the qualities in your partner, then this is their real beauty.

Two nurturing souls

Kindness is extremely important in healthy relationships. Your soul mate should be a kind, nurturing soul; and not only to you, but to everyone in your combined lives. If children are to be a part of your future together, your soul mate will display the qualities of a loving and nurturing parent.

Having fun together

Healthy relationships thrive on couples being able to have fun together. This doesn’t mean you have to party every night, or do exciting things on a daily basis. It does mean however that you should both be on the same page as far your enthusiasm for actually getting up and enjoying life together. Life is a gift, embrace it as such.

Deeply in love

Although men and women who are deeply in love will reveal their feelings in different ways, their souls are truly united. One person may be outwardly explicit in demonstrating their devotion to their partner, whilst the other is more subtle in expressing their feelings. This doesn’t matter. Although different, each person feels undoubtedly treasured by the other, and they complement one another.

Willing to compromise

There will always be times in your relationship when major compromise has to come into play. The key to all successful relationships depends on the capacity for two people to compromise on all of the toughest decisions, as well as the more trivial issues in life. It does not show weakness to compromise, it shows love and compassion for your partner.

The eyes are a mirror

You will identify your soul mate if you can see yourself reflecting back from their eyes. You feel this person is the other half of you, and the one who you have been searching for your whole life. You don’t entertain any doubts, insecurities, or ambivalence about their presence in your life, as what you see, is what you get, and is what you want. There are no hidden secrets or nasty surprises just waiting to creep up on you.

Making a mistake is never wrong

As humans, we all make mistakes. If you are with your soul mate, then you are both able to accept those mistakes you each make, as well as point out one another’s errors with the aim to minimise pain. You each recognise that to humiliate, judge, or criticise is unacceptable, and you avoid conveying these negative perceptions to each other at all costs. Your aims of pointing out the errors are for the better good of one another, in pursuit of continued improvement and betterment. In learning from your mistakes, you are both equally eager to hear the advice from the other, as there is mutual respect.  

Independent and mature beings

Always seek a partner who you know is both independent and mature. You want someone who shows pride and spirit in every aspect of their life, and is not afraid to take charge when called upon to do so. Make sure your partner has truly grown up, as you don't want to be stuck caring for a child. For the men in particular who are reading this article, if you have noticed that your partner exhibits all the traits of an Alpha Woman, you may be interested in reading my article here on how you can make yourself indispensable to her.


Passionate souls need passionate soul mates. Passion contributes immense value to your relationship. Share your passionate feelings when your partner is least expecting it, and this will bring you much closer together. Passion does not always need to include making love; it more often consists of those simple touches that let your partner know you are crazy about them. For some romantic gift ideas on how to spoil your partner, and sustain the passion in your lives, you may be interested in reading my article here. You don’t have to wait for a special occasion such as Valentine’s Day or your anniversary to show your loved one how much they mean to you. The best relationships are those in which unexpected gestures of romantic love are expressed, because when you find your soul mate, you seem to feel strongly about celebrating your love for them at any opportunity.

Purpose and drive

The most successful relationships are those in which both partners have specific goals in their life, and are both driven to pursue these goals at every opportunity. These goals do not have to equate to monetary wealth or academic and career achievements. Whether as a homemaker, or as a business executive, a person with purpose and drive will strive to be the best they can be. Such partners work together to help the other fulfil their desires, and take pleasure in each other’s enjoyments and success.

In conclusion: A love like no other

When soul mates find each other, they often cannot explain why they feel as deeply as they do. They just know they would do whatever it takes to keep this person by their side. Soul mates instinctively know in their hearts that this is the right person, and in essence, life would be incomplete without that person.

So if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who meets the standards of many of the points raised in this article, do everything in your power to hold onto them forever.

I would love to hear your comments or answer any questions you might have about this post.

Yours sincerely,   

Dr. Carissa Coulston, Clinical Psychologist

BSc(Hons), MPsychol(Clinical), PhD, MAPS